We had to put our 21 year old cat, Fiction, down yesterday and bury him in our "work-in-progress" back yard. Fiction, was born Dec 1986, and have been with Mickey since he was in college in Boseman, Montana. When I finally managed to come to the United States about 8 years ago, he welcomed me into the house (even though it meant now he had to share the bed with me...) and became my pet too.
I have never had a pet, not counting Fishes and hamsters (who disappeared after 2 weeks)... so I am never sure about the emotional attachment people have to their pets. But while he was lying on the "bed' in the animal hospital in SPCA yesterday, I kept asking if I am ready for it to happen. When it finally happened, tears rolled down my face and as of today, I still feel something is amiss. We had an engagement party to go to in the evening.... so our mood was a bit altered or we had to look happy. I mean we were happy that Mandy found the love of her life and have finally gotten engaged with Josh but we were sad.
So anyway, we came home, dug a hole in the backyard and laid him down. I lighted some joss sticks to commemorate him in the burial ground. I keep hearing phantom meows of fiction.... I think I can still smell him (the smell of his pee on the carpet, his smell on our bed, his food / water dish...) and it is wierd.... it is weirder for me to be talking about fiction like he is a human being.
I remember when I first arrived here, I keep telling everyone that Fiction said Hello to me.... yes he did.... whenever I come home, I would hear him meow like it was a Hello. I asked Mickey and he laughed... he said that he does that. In fact, if you answered him with Hello, he will repeat it again.
Another time, I was sleeping in bed (I used to study till early in the morning and sleep in) and he brought a small mouse to the bed to give it to me. I freaked out, the mouse ran (he never kills the animals) and I could never find it... Mickey tells me that it was Fiction's way of giving me a gift... saying hi and that he loves me.
He has been with me for 10 years, was with us as we went through our immigration struggles, when our house caught on fire, and when we moved to the new house. I do think that he like the new house as it meant that he has a bigger playground to play with and I think at his old age, he does not want to move anymore.
He was diagnose with heart murmur and we know that his kidney is really bad, he also suffered from a stroke about 4 years back which changed his personality from an aloof cat to one that demands your attention every so frequently whenever we are home... in the past year, his gums have deterioated and so he is unable to eat the hard food anymore and he couldn't control his bowels... it is sad to see him do that... sometimes, I get so frustrated with him... and sometimes, I just feel so sad. I often wonder, is that going to be me when I get old? is it? Who knows? I just hope that whoever takes care of me will have the patience with me if that happens to me.... morbid thoughts... but who knew that I would live longer than 35 years old (that's another topic for another day)
Anyway, good bye Fiction. We missed you already. Mickey and I are walking around the house like something is missing and something is. YOU. We love you. We missed you.
